Receiving Stolen Property is Okay!

Just before Christmas, Mr. Chuck met up with daddy and gave him a shopping cart. Doesn't Mr. Chuck know that it's illegal to steal shopping cards? Doesn't daddy know it's illegal to receive stolen property? OMG! What kind of influences are these guys?!

Daddy came home and I was so relieved to see that it was a shopping cart for me! Yay!

For a week or two, I really didn't like the shopping cart because it didn't like me. It made cool nosies but it kept running away from me when I tried to play with it. I was a little insulted. We worked things out and now we play all the time!

(Here's the YouTube link)

Merry Christmas!

Man...Christmas is chaos...BUT I LOVE IT!

The day started out with an early trip to grandma and grandpa's house. Of course, I slept while daddy did all of the hard work (driving). I'm pretty sure mommy did some sleeping too. We stuffed the swagger wagon full of pretty gifts, a turkey, a dog (Tachi), mommy, daddy, grandma, and grandpa. Man...it was a tight fit! We hit the road and made a quick stop at Uncle Jeff's place for a bottle, a cup of coffee, and a pee break. Then we were off for Sacramento!

We arrived at daddy's aunt's house (I think it's actually his great aunt...but hey...it's all family) where we had lots of yummy food! The holidays must be all about turkey. I've eaten more turkey in the past two months that I have in my life! After dinner, Kimora and I got to play. It sure was nice having someone my own age to play with.

Then, a couple of goofy kids with funny hats came in with a big red bag. I got two presents! Yay! A toy and some clothes...but the most fun thing was my red plastic cup! Don't get any ideas...I'm sure this is the first and last Christmas where a plastic cup will have my attention more than toys!

Then, we were off to Auntie Bridget's house. This is when things got really chaotic. I tried to sneak a peak at some of the presents but we had to take family pictures first. BOOO!

Finally...presents were passed out and I got more than anyone! Way more than mommy and daddy combined! AWESOME! I LOVE PRESENTS! Next year, mommy and daddy said that everyone can just get me presents and that they don't have to get them presents. Honest...they really said it!

I got so many presents that I can't even remember what I got! Guess my little brain needs a few more wrinkles so I can remember things better. Uncle Mike got me a tiger xylophone and he showed me how to play it. Grandma said I was doing really good but daddy was sticking his fingers in his ears. He must not be very musically inclined.

Thank you everyone for thinking of me and getting me all of the really nice presents! I hope to see you all soon for Christmas next month!

I'm 9 Months Old!

Happy 9 month birthday to me! I didn't know that turning 9 months old was such a big deal. Everyone decorates their houses and puts up trees with lights and ornaments. And I got tons of presents! Does this happen everytime you turn 9 months old? It's awesome!

Things I like:

• Food, especially puffs, that I can pick up and feed myself. 95% of the time the food makes it into my mouth. The other 5% Tachi picks up!
• Meat. Enough said.
• Cruising around the coffee table, along the couch and with my push toys
• Drinking water from a big boy cup. I'm not talkin' about a stinkin sippy cup, but a real cup.
• Sword fighting with spoons. Now that I can feed myself, I don't need mommy and daddy to feed me with a spoon. They're a little slow though because they still use a spoon to feed me. But I'm ready to block them with my spoon or hands. En Garde!
• Destroying things. Whenever mommy and daddy stack up blocks, my magnetic stacking animals or the stacking donuts, I love to knock 'em over! I also like to pull all the gears off my gears toy. It's even better when I flip the gears toy over and all the gears fall off.

Things I don't like:

• Mushy food. That stuffs b-o-r-i-n-g. Now that I can chew, I want chunks of food and texture.
• Napping when there's lots of stuff going on...even if I'm tired and cranky. Who can blame me? I don't want to miss any of the action.
• Getting my blood drawn.

Living in the Hood

So most people agree that daddy, Uncle Jeff, and Uncle Mike grew up in the hood. Most people will also agree that Auntie Christi is also from the hood. Mommy and daddy did a lot to make sure that I had a nice, safe neighborhood to grow up in. Who knew that our poor windows would be the victim of not one, but two shootings!

11/29/10 - daddy and I were hanging out on the couch watching the 49ers game and then we heard a "crack." Just above our heads, there was a hole in our window! Someone's shooting at us! Daddy looked around and couldn't find anyone.

12/19/10 - mommy woke up to find our slider shot out! Time to call the cops!

Both windows face the back yard. Directly behind us is an elderly Chinese couple. To the right, there's another house with some nice people, some kids, and a big dog named Brownie. We don't know who lives to the left.

After the cops go off to question people, they come back and...guess what...the old Chinese man is the one shooting at us! He claims to have been shooting at squirrels who were eating his vegetables! Seriously?! Does he not realize that BB's ricochet or that he might miss and hit something behind what he's shooting at?! What does he expect the squirrels to do...go back to their squirrel friends and say, "don't go over there...there's a crazy Chinese man who shot Joe last week?!"

IDIOT!

The Root of All Things Evil

Today started off pretty normal. Then, right after lunch, daddy showed up. At first, I was really happy...but then I looked at the clock and thought...what's he doing here? He packed up my stuff and we were off...somewhere. I knew something was up when we drove past our exit to go home. Where in the world were we going?

Too late...I fell asleep.

I woke up when the car stopped...as usual. Where were we? Uh oh! Doctor's office! I really like my doctor. She's awesome! It's those pesky nurses with their needles that I really hate!

In we go...off come the clothes...out comes the scale. 20 pounds, 10 ounces (50th percentile). They then measure my height...29.75 inches (90th percentile!). Woah! Move over Lebron! The nice doctor checks me out and everything's looking good. She even said it's time to start feeding me more meat! Yum! Look out cows and chickens! Here I come!

My doctor leaves and I get dressed. Then...instead of heading back towards the lobby, we turn left. What the heck?! Why aren't we going home?! I'm tired. I'm hungry.

Mommy brings me to a counter and one of those nasty nurses comes over and ties a giant rubber band around my arm. She's really good at that. She must be a heroin addict or something. Then I see it. NEEDLE!

Squirm...twist...try to get away. I know I can over power mommy...so the nurse calls for daddy. Oh crap! Now I'm stuck. Then a second nurse shows up! Double crap! Needle....prick...WAAAAHHHHHH!

Stupid heroin addict nurse! I DESPISE YOU!

All I Want For Christmas...

So I woke up today feeling a whole lot better than I had been. I think I'm all better! I'm crawling around, climbing up on stuff, and having a ball. So what's next...off to the mall for some holiday shopping! Yay! I love shopping! Mommy always ends up buying me something!

We got there about 10:15 (after my nap and second bottle for the day) and what'd we do? Stand in line! BORING! I wanna ride around in my stroller and see all of the holiday festivities...but nooooo...we just stand in line...and for what?! I have absolutely no idea. The line is so long that I can't see what we're in line for.

After about 45 minutes, I just start to lose it. Bored, missing my morning snack, and getting sleepy! Nothing else to do but...nap! Mommy and daddy said that there were only two people in front of us for whatever it was that we were waiting for. Oh well...a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do, right?

I woke up in the Baby Gap. Mommy must have bought me something, right? I guess I'll never know because as soon as I woke up, daddy wheeled me away and got me some lunch. Yum!

We headed off to Macy's to look for mommy's cowboy boots...but instead of heading towards the shoes, we head towards the corner of the store??? We're met by this little old lady with pointy ears! How weird! The next thing I know...I'm sitting on a big fat dude's lap! So...not only is this dude's belly huge but he's got all this white stuff growing on his face and he's dressed really weird! I sure hope he gets to the doctor to have his face checked out! I know it's rude...but all I can do is stare at him. He's so weird looking!

Eventually, someone tells me that the big fat dude's name is Santa Claus and that he brings all of the good little boys and girls presents! AWESOME! Daddy even helped me write a letter to Santa! We said that I've been a good boy and I asked Santa for a pony for mommy, for a tiger for me, and for a Ferrari for daddy! I sure hope Santa thinks I've been a good boy!

I Broke It!

After two days in the triple digits, I'm back down into the doubles. 99.1! Yay!

I'm feeling better and got to go back to see my friends at CFC today! Yay! Not only that, but today's pajama day so I get to wear my PJ's to school! What's pajama day? That's when all of the big bosses at CFC come by our classrooms and read us stories in a special circle time!

If I'm anything like daddy...I'm going to fall asleep.

101.6

What's 101.6 you ask?

1. My new favorite radio station
2. How hawt I actually am
3. The degrees of longitude where our house is located

If you answered 2...you're right.

I'm sick. Booo!

Warning: Not For the Faint of Heart

Don't yell at me if you're grossed out by this one...I warned you!

So today was going fine and dandy at daycare:

• Naps: Check. Nice and long.
• Bottles: Check. Finished all of them off.
• Solids: Check. Finished off half of a banana as a morning snack, my lunch, and some puffs for my afternoon snack.
• Playtime: Check. Always fun!

So daddy comes to pick me up and we say goodbye to everyone and head out the door. As soon as I get strapped into my car seat, something is not feeling right. I try to fight it...but I can't. The tears begin to fall and the crying starts. Most of the time, this just means I'm tired and can't get comfortable. This time...it's different. I try and try but can't hold it back. BARF!

Daddy pulls over and jumps into the back seat and I'm just covered in my lunch. There's some pears, some carrots from the night before...STINKY! On the side of the road, daddy takes off his dress shirt and cleans me up and then strips me down to my diaper. Daddy's undershirt comes off so I have something clean to sit on. I'm feeling better so back in the seat I go.

Once at home, we walk inside to see mommy...daddy topless in his dress pants and me in my diaper. Man was she surprised.